MBA Diary 

So it's time to leave, it's time to say goodbye, it's time to go far away from them and it's time to miss them. Once I had written in one of my blogs that the bachelors degree would be my last education in my life. Because my ambitions, dreams, and aims were different at that time. But it's life, everything will not be in our hands, everything will not be as we wish, and sometimes we need to change according to the situation. That's why life is so beautiful, if we get everything we wish without any difficulties, we may forget its value after achieving it. 

After my degree, I went on to achieve my previous dreams and aims. But after six months I understood that it was beyond my range or it may take years to achieve it. But I am not ready to wait or I don't have enough time to wait. So I started to think what next ?. Before that I didn't even think about a plan B in my life, I just only had plan A and my plan B was to achieve my plan A. I researched a lot through many sites, many YouTube channels, and webinars to choose my career. Finally, after debating with my own mind I got it, MBA..!. My next step was to achieve it in a bigger way or to get into a professional university. Done coaching for the entrance and wrote many exams like CMAT, JMI entrance, TISSNET and CUET. Due to my good/not bad score in CUET, I got admitted to the Central University of Madhya Pradesh named Indira Gandhi National Tribal University. 

As I said above my aim was to achieve an MBA career professionally and I tried to more focused towards it. For the first 6 months, my classes were online, and I didn’t have any close connection with anybody. After that, I went to Madhya Pradesh. It was my first experience staying in a hostel, staying without my family, this far from my home (more than 2000 km).

Slowly, slowly I started to adapt to the hostel life. I got many friends. Already I had a friendship with Aparna and Sandra because we met at the time of the spot admission. On the travel from Bilaspur to Pendra I met Urkahu. After reaching the hostel, I met Ajith, Samar, and Saurabh. And we all choose to stay in one room, room number 205. After a few days, classes started, met others, talked to them, and became friends with them. We build a connection quickly and easily.

One of my favourite subject was and is environmental science or simply E.V.S, I had already said about it in my first blog. I was doing by U.G while writing my first blog. In that I clearly written that while looking to the E.V.S text book I become emotional, thrilled, happy by seeing the photos of Indian places, trees, people, etc from Saudi Arabia. E.V.S textbook was like my messenger from India. I enjoyed by looking the photos and thought about it so much. But after 6 and half years of Saudi Arabian life, when I came to Kerala, it was entirely different. I couldn't able to see what I saw in the textbook, Kerala had changed. But here, in M.P I was seeing the photos from E.V.S textbook through my eyes as real. It was one of the main factor that attracted me to be here and stay here. Another important factor is none other than my friends from various states in India like Chattisgarh, Madhya Pradesh, Assam, Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Kerala, etc.

Now I need to share some of the best memories I had with them in IGNTU. That first and foremost is the freshers day memory or dance memory. In my life, it was my first dance performance on a stage. After seeing my status and story of dance and other activities from IGNTU, my old friends started to mock me. They were saying that you had changed a lot, you changed from introvert to extrovert, you are not the old Agfar, etc. But really I didn't change, when I got an opportunity to perform something that I liked, I did it happily. After the dance performance, I had a good connection with Kinjal, Sakshi, Anshika, Kuber, and Yogesh. My dance partner was Sakshi, Even though I didn't know how to do some steps, she helped me and we figured out how to do it easily by avoiding the tough steps of Kuber. 

Another memory is of Ambedkar Park and the library. We all used to sit in the park to celebrate others birthdays, play truth or dare, eating food brought from the houses of Kuber, Kinjal, Sakshi, Anshika, etc. Another one of my favourite places in IGNTU is the library. I used to sit there to write poems, use wifi to download movies, etc. That means other than studying, and reading, most of the things happened from there. I liked the peaceful environment of the library a lot. 

Next is an adventurous memory, it is little bit illegal or illegal entry...!. Illegal entry to the swimming pool by jumping the 8 feet wall. It occurred one day before the last exam, kuber asked me "Are you coming for swimming ?" at 12 am midnight. Mostly I don't say no to swimming, it's one of my emotions. With the support of 'Head' 🔑, we (the hostelers) gone to pool, which is not yet inaugurated. 🔑 gave us information regarding where will be securities and which way to go. With the help of 2 sack of sand, we jumped the 8 feet wall and jump to water quietly and calmly. Because if anyone noticed us, it could be our last day in the university.

Other memories are:- 

1. Staying late nights before exams in the reading          room with my roommates (205 and 207)

2. Cooking without the permission of the warden

3. Seeking help from Juned regarding finance

4. Playing cards and funny chats with Yogi

5. The smiling face of Santu

6. Expectedly unexpected photo with Ritu and her        songs

7. Discussing Malayalam movies with M.P girl                Anshika

8. Speaking with Radha

9. Funny fights with Kinjal

10. Video editings

11. Night walks in IGNTU

12. Support of Chabi

13. Personal photographer Ajith

14. Asking Saurabh for photos as the document

15. Fighting roommate partner Samar

16. Midnight Assamese from Urkhau

17. Eid biriyani from Meraj

18. Amarkantak journeys

19. Midway Treat and Bike accident

20. Motivation from Priti Ma'am

21. Freshers, Alumni, Farewell dances

22. Second semester exam of HR

23. Veena's OnePlus 

24. TTM presentation with Aparna

25. A.P's words towards Sandra

26. Muskan's electric scooter

27. Missed biriyani from Rashmi

28. Manas and his shop

29. Swimming in dam

30. Arguments regarding the freshers day of juniors

31. Fighting in WhatsApp

32. Marathon

33. Jawan movie from Pendra

34. Volleyball

35. Eid prayer from Chattisgarh 

36. Climbing hills and Biriyani 

37. Journey to Tajmahal 

38. North Indian winter 

39. First admin of DOBM's official Instagram                    account, etc.

I didn't being with my friends most of the time, and it was not because of any personal grudge or hating. But I believe that I had with them when they needed me the most. And really I like you guys and I love you all. In my life, most of my friendships were happily flowing friendships but when it came to IGNTU, there was happiness, sadness, fighting, trolling, mocking, crying, etc. And I think that's why I am missing them a lot. Once I wrote a poem named "Infatuation", the poem ends by the lines,

"Now I am not searching my eyes

Where I searched once 

A full stop had fallen for my madness"

But here I need to change some of the words in it,

"I will definitely search my eyes

Where I being once 

A special comma had fallen to my life"

                                                                 With love,

                                                                  Agfar

 A Poem Written in Marble

A pleasant morning from my 8^th standard, the teacher came to the class carrying the history book. Basically, history is a boring subject but for me, it was an interesting subject. Even though I didn’t score good marks in history I was a good listener in the class. I love the way the ancient people built things with minimum technology and some of it is still confusing. That day, the teacher told us she was going to talk about the love story of Shah Jahan and Mumtaz and about a large sculpture that stands as a symbol of love. From there onwards it had entered to my heart, one of the seven wonders of the world, the great Taj Mahal.

                            When I got an opportunity to study in Madhya Pradesh, one of my aims was to see the Taj Mahal. Because Agra is near there when compared to Kerala. I learned more about Taj in my civil service classes, most of the readers of my blog may not know about it and it’s a past story. From that history class at the Civil Service Academy, I learned minute details regarding the Taj. About the precious stones in it, the secret champers, the history of building it, the methods used while building it pre conditions of Mughals and architects, about the present conditions, everything inspired and motivated me to reach there.

It happened on another pleasant day while I was sitting at one of my favorite places in IGNTU, Ram Dayal Munda Central Library, Aparna called me and said that they have got permission from HOD for the leave application and they are planning to go somewhere. Then with the presence of our 'Gundi' Radha, we have planned where to go and how to go. There were mainly 3 places on our bucket list, Mathurai, Agra, and Delhi. There is no need for any doubt about which place encouraged me to join that trip. The next day morning we started our trip. A sudden trip, a sudden planning, a sudden arrangement, everything was sudden except my desire to see that wonder. At the time of planning, we were four persons, the MBA mallus but after that, our Assam boy Urkhau also joined by asking permission from someone special for him. So it was a journey of south and east to the north. Because of the sudden trip, we didn’t have a confirmed train ticket, so we took the general ticket and entered the sleeper compartment, TTE was our fear on that journey!. Our first destination was Mathurai in UP and after spending almost 2 days we took the train to Agra, in that journey, my mind whispered to me that you are going to fulfill one of your dreams. At night around 2 am, we reached Agra and took a hotel to stay and decided to go and see the Taj in the early morning around 5 am before the rush of the huge crowd. But due to the continuous journey, everyone slept and woke up after 8 am. But there was no change of plan to see Taj.

                                                   Finally, we reached the ticket counter of the Taj Mahal, after completing the ticket verification I just moved fast to witness the symbol of love, and later I noticed that I had come up with my friends, my mind was totally blank at that time. I can’t describe how I felt by moving my path towards the Taj. At last, we reached the entry gate of the Taj Mahal, it seemed like clouds in the path, but when we moved towards it there was visible the symbol of love, one of the seven wonders, the pride of India, the great Taj Mahal. I just simply look at it for a few seconds without blinking my eyes. I was just seeing a beauty that once I saw in my textbooks. At that particular moment, I didn’t use my phone to capture any pictures, I just wanted to enjoy its beauty with my naked eyes. Later I started to walk slowly towards the Taj, I felt like to enjoying each and minute beauty of it. I clicked many photos, some are good and some are not, but definitely, it’s a memory. I entered the Taj, we are not allowed to take photos from there, my eyes searched for the places where a variety of semiprecious stones like pietra dura, agate, turquoise, lapis-azuli, coral, onyx, cat’s eye, jade, bloodstone was once carved and later Britishers took it away. We can see the cenotaphs of Mumtaz Mahal and Shah Jahan, opposite of Taj Mahal there is an unfinished base for creating the Black Taj Mahal from the side of Shah Jahan and history says that due to the high budget of the white Taj Mahal Mughal dynasty lost so many funds and when Shah Jahan start to build another one, he was prisoned by Aurangzeb. Outside of the cenotaphs, it’s a plain veranda with white marble. The Taj Mahal is built with red sandstone and marble and it has an amazing sculpture. It is said that the architect Usthad-Ahmad Lahori was made blind and his hands were cut off after the construction of the Taj Mahal by the emperor. Because the emperor needs this thing to be unique. There are also champers in the base of the Taj and some of them are not opened yet and nobody knows what is inside it, it's like a 'Chamber of Secrets'.

                                                               I was telling all things to my friends who came with me because I just needed to share what I knew about that wonder. After seeing the Taj Mahal and its surroundings we just moved outside. I looked back once more not as the last time because if I get a chance again to see it, surely I will go, seriously I wish for it and definitely it was worth the wait. When we moved away from that symbol of love I just had a feeling that one of my dreams had come true.                                                                                                                                     Agfar

A Swim Through Her Love (Poem)

 A Swim Through Her Love

Arrived home after quadruple months

From the University of Amarkantak 

Start to breathe my air

Felt the smell of my soil

Came for a short vacation 

So don't have enough time to be with her

But want to prove myself that

I didn't forget the lessons taught by her

Moved to her beside

Tried to express my love

My friends witnessed 

The way I loved her

She seems to be angry

And her behavior was tough

Thought I can able to control

And began to embrace her

But she controls me

And flew me to the end

Where rocks and stones were

Waiting for the arrival

No walls could stop her

From the arrogance she had

Once more she proved that 

Still, she holds that strength 

Hands dropped from the sky

Grabbed me to the land

Even though it was not easy

To separate her love

In a few seconds

She showed me birth to death

Though it was not my first 

But still, I love her

                                         Agfar

Motta Maadi - The Rooftop (poem)

 Motta Maadi

The Rooftop

Sitting on the rooftop 

Looking to the sky

Stars are invisible to my eyes

Sound of water hits my ears

It is a dark night

Moon moved inside the clouds

Water is still on the ground

News is spreading like a fire

Experienced it once before

With a large noise

But here I was alone

In a known unknown place

Kids are playing 

Vehicles are stuck

Pets are screaming 

Everything waiting for the hope

Phone is about to die

Internet is nowhere 

Rain clouds are on my head

And I am still on the rooftop

                                                  Agfar

MAD (poem)

 MAD

Every night she approached me 

With painful memories of survival 

Guilty caused because of her

Made me loner infront of ally

Always thought the ways to elude

And searched for a better one

Fate keep us together again

Sometimes happy but not for a long

Moved faraway to a long distance 

Find ways to remove my dreams

But where ever I traveled 

She haunts me like a ghost 

Now I am free from the reminiscences

I am free from the painful lessons 

But somewhere that awful life

There had some strong stories to tell

                                                                 Agfar 

(NB:- MAD - Maths After Differentiation)

Aura (poem)

 Aura

Train moved forward in the dark night

Memories went backward with the trees

First time failed before her

But designed the ways to carryout 

Happiness flourished in the cold breeze

Which enters through the window

Random music approached the ears

Delighted the mind with joy

Those lines flew through heart

Treasure trove and kept it in favourites

                                                                       Agfar

 MOONLIGHT AMOUR 

Author - Agfar K.P

Date - 25th October 2022

                     It was a wedding day, and Basith and his family were preparing to go to the wedding. Basith was studying in the 8th standard, so he did not know all the family members and he did not know how he was related to them but he used to go with his family during weddings or other events. One of the main reasons for his journey was to enjoy himself for a while, to see his close relatives, and to eat. He didn't have many friends back then and he wasn't in the habit of telling everything to the friends he had. It was a time when he was living comfortably in a world of his own.

                       Their vehicle moved towards the auditorium. Reached without delay, he secured his place in an empty seat in the auditorium. While his father, mother, and siblings all went their separate ways. On the Nokia phone he had, gave food to the snake and also checked if it was time for his food without bothering anyone.

                    His eyes suddenly caught on someone, and when he saw her, he felt a fascination with her. He focused on playing the game again. But occasionally his eyes were on her. By the time he finished eating and left the wedding hall, his eyes were searching for her who had aroused his curiosity. He did not understand its meaning then. And later he never thought about her. Or what to think, not even knowing her name, place, home, who she is. Sometimes she may be from his family, but not all those who come to the wedding must be family members. 

                    After a long gap, there was another wedding in the same family. Basith was studying in 10th standard at that time. He had also gone to the wedding with his family, but not directly to the wedding hall as he had done that day, but to the wedding house, that too in the previous day. Basith realized one thing when he sat in that house, it was her house! He then realized that he had come for her brother's wedding. He was then passing through a state of joy and wonder combined. But he cannot show it outside. There he realized something else, she was his relative! He was most excited to go to the wedding the next day. He felt like he was getting pleasure from her every action. He started watching her every move. He also felt like her every smile belonged to him. But he didn't have the guts to stand in front of her in any way. It is because he feels that she is somehow greater than him for some reason, she was really beautiful with a cute smile and her cuteness made him exasperated. And when compared with her, he was nothing. But for that reason, his interest in her did not decrease even a little.

            Many weddings took place in those families and Basith's aim was to meet her rather than attend the wedding. When he reaches the auditorium he first looks around, his eyes never rest until he sees her, and even after he sees her there is no rest. He kept looking at her secretly. He didn't have much trouble figuring out her name, even though it was a distant family. He used to listen attentively to anyone who said anything about her or her family, and thus came to know her name as 'Fathima'. Then he started searching on Facebook with her name and initials, instagram wasn't that big back then. Got her account on Facebook but left it like that without sending a friend request. He thought what she would think of him. Years passed, and many faces passed inside Basith but other than her others were all fleeting, only her’s remained intact. At that time Basith was searching for colleges after the plus two result. Also, he was seriously thinking about what to take after Plus Two. He wanted a job without too much hassle and problems. Realizing that subjects like BBA and B Com would get him a job quickly, he decided to take one of them.

          It was then that he realized the benefits of going outside the state and studying, and also he wanted to see how real India was. Other than thinking too much, he started the necessary preparations to get into Delhi University. As he wished, he was admitted to Shaheed Sukhdev College, Delhi University for a BBA. At this time he had come to know that Fathima joined Calicut Medical College for MBBS.

                                     The time Basith was in his second year, one day when he opened Instagram, there was a friend request, it was none other than Fatima’s!. Then he realized something, she knew him too. Until then, Basith thought that she would not have noticed him, and he was very happy that day. He had little courage to get closer to her. Went to Facebook and sent her a friend request and started liking her posts on Instagram and Facebook as soon as he saw them. Slowly started sifting through her Instagram and Facebook to know more about her. He probed whether she was younger or older than him, where she studied and is there any mutual friends. Many things he looked at were favorable to him. It was also his habit to see if she liked his posts, also he found little joy in that.

                      One day Basith and his friends came down to explore Delhi on a free day of their final year studies. He felt that he had seen Fathima in the crowd near India Gate in New Delhi and dismissed it as his imagination. On his way to the hostel, he opened Instagram and saw her story in front of India Gate!, and realized that it wasn't his imagination. Basith liked talking with his friends on the rooftop of the hostel at night, every day there would be different topics, and some days there would be no topic as particular. One day the topic of the day was 'Love'. Each of them was talking about successful love, broken love, fake love, etc, it was Basith's turn, his friends thought that it was a waste of time to ask him about love because his character and attitude were like that. But they were all wondered when he told them about his undisclosed love. It was a surprise to them that Basith fell in love with her without even talking to her.

                In 2017, Basith graduated from Delhi University with a BBA. He was thinking about whether to look for a job after BBA or to look for a better job after PG. At that time he happened to see that WhatsApp message.

                     Basith was a member of a WhatsApp group that published information regarding different jobs, and he didn't check the messages. But once he opened it out of curiosity, just to know what was going on in it. Suddenly he saw an old hidden interest that had floated once in his mind. The message was that registration for the CBI selection exam had started. One of the lessons he learned from his life was that to shouldn’t think too much about anything, that overthinking is not good, he should do what makes him happy. It was a time when he was thinking of staying at home for PG entrance preparation for a year, but he came to the conclusion that he might as well prepare for the SSC exam too, SSC CGL is the exam for CBI. But he did not tell anyone about preparing for CBI. Since PG and SSC had almost the same syllabus, he did not need any different preparation. He generally scores well in Maths, which is why he didn't find it too tough because both the syllabus contains more Mathematics.

                       After a few months, he wrote both the exams. He did not find the two exams as difficult. To the family, he said that he was going to write PSC rather than telling SSC. The first to know was the result of SSC, which he passed but there was one more exam and an interview to go. His second exam was held near the Calicut Medical College, so a little happiness began to well up inside him, it was because he might somehow meet Fathima. All the fear that usually comes with an exam slipped away from him without even knowing it, and he wanted to see her as much as he wanted to pass the exam. He didn't want to talk or even laugh at her, just wanted to see. The exam was in the afternoon and that too in the adjacent building of the medical college. When he came out after the exam, he walked right in front of her, like a coincidence. He didn't know what to do then, and he felt like all the courage he had until then was draining away. She smiled at him and he could see the curiosity on her face thinking about how he was there. He couldn't bring himself to even say a ‘hi’ except to chuckle in response, and his throat felt like it was choking. He walked forward, happy that she laughed at him for the first time, even though he couldn't speak. The two of them walked away, and when he turned back a little later, she had disappeared into the crowd. 

                           After a few days, the PG result was published. Basith got admission for an MBA in IGNTU located at Amarkantak, Madhya Pradesh. It didn’t take too many days to start the class. One day on his way back to the hostel after class he comes to know that he has cleared the second stage of the SSC exam and an interview is left but it will held in Delhi. He immediately took the train for Delhi because it was too late when he knew the result and the interview date was very near. He stayed at Azad's house, with whom he studied at Delhi University, and the interview took place the next day of his arrival. But he didn't tell his family about his coming to Delhi or the interview, he thought it would be a surprise if he got the job. He performed well in the interview as best he could. Immediately after the interview, he went back to Madhya Pradesh because he skipped some classes for the interview. He used to tell his classmates and hostel mates that the sudden journey was to home. He didn't have to wait long for the interview result, his hard work was not in vain, he cleared it and achieved one of his dreams, CBI. But after that he seriously thought about what to do with the PG, till he cleared SSC he didn't even think about it. At first, he thought to avoid PG, but later he realized something, he wondered what would do if he was fired from CBI. Finally, he came to a decision that PG would be taken forward with the job. Once he got an email to reach his nearest CBI headquarters. He reached the CBI headquarters in Madhya Pradesh, he told them about his affairs and situation before the training and they agreed to it on the condition that he could attend the college only for exams. He also discussed this situation with his university and they too agreed with this decision. His colleagues were not aware of this situation, they thought he was not attending classes because of some medical issues. He was a type of silent man in the class so his absence didn’t affect that much. When the CBI officials heard that Basith had not told even his own family members about the job in CBI, the officers thought that Basith could be sent to Secret Operations but they gave full permission to tell others if he felt he needed to, and had not detained him. But he kept the CBI a secret, realizing that secret operations would be easier if he didn't tell too many people. He pretended to be in college and hostel while calling from home. He maintained it very well from anyone suspecting it.

                  After two years in 2019, Basith returned home after completing his PG and still nobody knew about his secret. The senior officials ordered him to be full-time with the job. He was also shifted to the headquarters in Mumbai. He was no longer interested in remaining unemployed and unpaid in front of his family and countrymen. He presented the matter of CBI and going to Mumbai in front of the family. At first, it was difficult for them to accept it, but later they also shared in the joy. The next thing he had to decide was about Fathima. He gathered the courage to go to her house alone and introduce the matter. The next day he decided to go for it without telling anyone. When he was ready to go on, suddenly Fathima's parents came to his house, it was to invite him to Fathima's wedding!. He became silent at that moment. When it was night, he went up to the terrace of the house and looked at the sky for a long time, he used to sit like that to calm himself.

                                          Finally, that special day of 2019 arrived, Fathima's wedding day. At first, Basith thought not to go but later decided to go. There was something lost or missed in his face. After entering the hall, he saw her sitting on the stage. She giggled when she saw him and he tried to crack a small smile in return. He didn't know whether that was a perfect smile or not. He walked slowly and fixed his position in a corner of the auditorium. At that moment, each and every memory about Fathima floated one by one in his mind. Basith's attention suddenly fell on a boy nearby, the boy was playing pubg on his phone, but every now and then his eyes were looking for someone else, like Basith used to do in the past, Basith looked at it with a small smile. He saw another Basith in that boy. He fell back into his thoughts and slowly realized that her happiness was more important to him than his love. So what started in one wedding hall ended in another wedding hall...!      

                                      THE END